Friday, January 17, 2014

No Wonder I'm So Confused

I quit my job May 13, 2013.  I was so happy to walk away from that strange land of mixed up ways.  I had worked there 2 years and I never figured it out.  My greatest concern was SAFETY.  Yes, people.  Safety.  There were other concerns, too, like quality of instruction, individualized lessons and professionalism with the faculty.  But safety was the one thing that gave me a rash.  I could go on and on with specific examples but let's just say safety was neglected in every way.  Anybody could enter the building and roam the halls, no questions asked.  Anybody could pick up any kid from carpool whether administration had met them before or not.  Big things like that.  All the way to the little things like kids climbing on the back of chairs, taking items off the shelves unsupervised.  And about that rash.  Yes, I actually got a rash that wouldn't go away.  All that to say, I'm was ready to quit.  I'm glad I quit.  I don't miss it.

Before you get the wrong idea, this school is not in the poorest, roughest neighborhood.  This is a small  private school with the highest tuition charged in the city.

Even though I shudder when I think about the long, long days I spent there DOING NOTHING I still for some reason can not MOVE ON.  GET OVER IT.  I struggle to find the "what did you learn from it" lesson.  I learned……. that I have standards.  I learned that some thing are just NOT alright with me.  I learned that given the opportunity, I can handle a classroom of 4 year olds with excellence.  That's the word.  Excellence.  I had never been a member of a faculty that didn't strive for it.

Someone once told me the way to get over an old boyfriend is to find a new boyfriend.  Maybe that's what I should do.  I should find a new job.  So I made a list of my skills, experience and interests.  It looks something like this:


Can clean a house top to bottom in 3 hours
I do windows
Can follow directions.  If I had the directions on how to build a space shuttle, I could do it.
Same with recipes.
And songs.  I can make up a song on a moment's notice
ability to get things done with no sleep
can do math in my head


can live with the same man for 26 years without committing any crime
20 years of working with women without committing any crime


Never quitting.  I am interested in figuring it out.

My goals for the winter:

Re-learn how to knit.
Keep up the exercise.  I really do feel better
Get my eyebrows waxed.  Man, they are out of control!
Send my college kids a care package from home

I actually like this unemployment.  Keeps me busy

Saturday, January 4, 2014

I'm sure it was the guac

Today I had lunch at Jason's Deli.  I eat there often.  Well, once a month which is "often" for me since I don't eat out that much.  But today it was cold.  And windy.  And I had been sitting all morning.  There was a Jason's Deli just across the street and so I just decided.  I ordered a cup of chicken noodle soup and 1/2 of a salmon-wich.  Why did i order that?  I've never had it.  EVER.  Ironman gets it anytime he's eating at the J.D.  It just popped out of my mouth.  Oh, I'm sure it'll be fine.

I took my order home.  Opened the sandwich.  Let me tell you, they should call it a quarter sandwich instead of a half sandwich.  Shoot!  It was a big as a saltine!  I took one little bite.  Oh, ugh, the guacamole.  I just can't handle avocado.  So I scraped off as much as I could.  Pulled out just the salmon.  At one more bite and that was all I could do.  I moved on to the soup.

Things were going fine until about a half hour later.

You know the signs:

sudden fatigue.
dull yet pounding headache
stomach feels bloated

I decided to go lay down.  And well, you know what happened.  You don't?  I puked my guts out!  I haven't thrown up that much in…. well, since the last time I was so sick.  It wasn't pretty people.  I wasn't sure it would ever end.  What else is in my stomach?  I haven't eaten anything else.  Earlier this morning I had oatmeal with blueberries.

You know how it is when you get sick from something you ate.  You just know what it is.  It wasn't the celery, the berries, the milk, the bread, the dressing, the banana, the dessert…… was the guacamole dressing on that stupid sandwich.  SO AWFUL!

Needless to say I got nothing done today.  I started to hang the new curtains in the master bedroom but I was just so tired!  I thought about finishing my pillow sham project.  But I'm just not in the mood.

Tomorrow is Sunday.  The daughters and I are visiting a new church.  New to us.  I'll let you know how it goes.


Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Church People

Yesterday while taking down my Christmas Tree I was listening to The 700 Club.  Yes, I watch that show.  I admire and enjoy Terri Meuwssen, Miss America 1973.  Pat Robertson?  Oh, he's a kook.  If you can manage to get through the first half hour, you'll be rewarded with the 2nd which is much more inspirational.  Lots of interesting interviews by Miss Terri.  But that's not the point.

There was a segment on a Secret Church Shopper ala Undercover Boss.  This man is contacted by the ministers of different churches around the country.  He shows up at a worship service incognito.  He takes note of everything from the parking ease or lack thereof, landscaping, etc. to more important things like how visitors are welcomed.  I assume he visits for several services over several weeks.  At the end he presents the minister with a detailed report of his findings.  Both good and bad.  I realize church leadership can be so busy and so overloaded with responsibilities that details can be easily overlooked.

I was amazed.

Many of the things this man mentioned, I have experienced first hand.

Have I attended numerous worship services IN A ROW and no one speak?  yep
Have I attended weeks and weeks of a regular small group Bible Study and yet the leader never speaks to me?  Or introduces themselves?  In fact, no one speaks to me?  YEP AND YEP

Ironman and I attended a small group BIble Study class together for over a year.  Sure we were absent here and there.  But for the most part, we had showed up weekly.  Not ONE PERSON spoke.  Week after week after week.  Ironman eventually refused to go.  I stuck it out for awhile but then one fateful Sunday……… well, here's the story:

I walked into the class.  Sat down on the 2nd row.  The class was just about full with only a few empty seats one of them right next to me.  I had scooted over on purpose.  I left the seat on the end empty on purpose.  For a latecomer.  Yes, I try to be considerate.  When I think about it.   Back to my story.  I was alone.  Ironman, like I said, had given up and was going to meet me after class in the worship service.  The lady directly in front of me was also a regular attender.  This particular Sunday she was taking attendance.  Why do they even still do that in churches?  I have no idea.  But this class did it.  I guess they want to keep track of numbers?    She looked at me and said,

"Is your husband coming?"

No good morning.  No hello my name is……  Nothing.  Just is your husband coming,  I guess she at least had noticed I had a husband with me most Sundays.  I don't know.  I'm pretty sure she didn't know my name.  She had a list on her lap.  I assume it was process of elimination.

"No, he's not coming today"

And that was it.  She turned back around.

Probably 10 minutes later after the leader had started the class, a man entered quietly in the back.  He was late.  Hey, been there!  See?  I knew I was thoughtful leaving an empty seat on the end of a row.  He quietly moves across the room and whispers to me, "Is this seat taken?"   "Oh no"  I said.  And I kinda scooted over just a bit.  You know, moved my purse that was on the floor near my feet.  That kind of stuff.  He sat down.  I told myself "Introduce yourself"  But class was going on.  The teacher was presenting his well prepared lesson.  (which is the reason I kept going week after week.  The teacher was prepared and smart)  The seconds ticked by and I made a decision to just not say anything. Ugh.

Then Miss Attendance Taker turns and looks at me.  She says something I didn't quite catch.  I see her reach for her magic paper and mark my husband present.

Wait……….. hold it…….. this man right here next to me?  That came in a few minutes tardy?
He's not my husband.

Have you ever NOTICED my husband?  Have you ever NOTICED me?  Before today?  We've been attending every Sunday for OVER A STINKIN' YEAR!  Oh my gosh.

That was the last straw.  Sure, you could make a case that Satan was so happy that happened.  And so happy that I was the first one out the door when class was over.  And so happy that was was totally distracted for the rest of class.  And you'd be right.

But how much should we have to endure?  I mean, after a year……

And so we no longer go to a small group Bible Study.  I miss it.  Which is probably a big reason why I watch The 700 Club many days.

I don't think I'll ever be able to get Ironman back in a group Bible Study.  Ever.
I'd like to find one.  I'd like to make a new friend.

If that time comes, you can bet your sweet bippee I'll be introducing myself to people around me.  I'll be saying good morning.  I'll be making SURE the attendance keeper knows my name.  And one more thing, Small Group Bible Study Leaders?  Lose the name tags.  I hate them.  You think it helps learn people's names.  But it doesn't.  Introducing yourself and speaking to people around you is how you learn people's names.  Step out out of your comfort zone.  Say hello to people around you.  I know you do it in the line at Target.  So do it at church, ok?

Rant over.

Carry on.