In keeping with tradition, the faculty and staff at my school is barely hanging in there. It happens at every school I've worked. Teachers are beat. Students are distracted. Administration is under the gun to get things finished up and tied with a bow. I guess you could say that we are overwhelmed.
And so we hate each other.
Hate is a strong word. So I guess I should say we are SICK OF EACH OTHER. But because we are adults and professionals and we realize it's a seasonal thing, we are all hanging in there. For we know that the last day is a-coming. And on that day we always feel sentimental and all those stressful feelings disappear with the last car in the pick up line.
How's that for poetic?
I am NOT feeling poetic. Not one bit.
This has been a difficult year. I have patience left. And I have a tail end of good attitude murking nearby. But I am tired. And honestly? I'm bored! Yes, BORED. I've never been that way before so it's new.
In order to keep my perspective, I'm going to try to chronicle the whys, wheres and hows. Then maybe I can figure some things out.
1. There is no bonding between teachers.
It's taken me this long, but I really think that's the core problem. I've never met a faculty like this one. I've always had at least ONE buddy. Teachers know how invaluable it is to have a buddy next door. Somebody who will understand your frustrating days without judgement, be there to help you out and most importantly celebrate success without feeling jealous. Yes, that's it.
The faculty at my present school has none of that. Well, let me put it this way. I'm not a part of the set aside crowd. Why? I've been trying to figure it out. And so I actually sat and made a little chart. See? I'm bored!! Same and Different. And wow, did the different side ever win!
How I'm different:
I'm married. I've been married for 25 years. The other 3 teachers? All divorced and currently single.
I don't mean that as a judgement thing. But it's a fact. When they are making dinner plans, or casino plans, I'm preparing to go home and do some things around my house. My husband is there. Blah blah blah. I did join them once. ONCE! And it was awkward and weird and I swore I'd never go again. At first they'd invite me and I'd politely take a rain check. Now the invitation is lost in the mail. I guess that made me come across as.................. I don't know.
I'm a Christian.
Now, my faith never comes up in conversation. It's never really been an issue. I can work with anybody. But here it's a major THANG. I've stood next to a teacher who was actually making fun of Christian Beliefs. I was shocked! I didn't know people actually did that. Am I naive? We have all faiths, creeds and nationalities at my school. And I know if my little Muslim Child's mother was standing there this particular teacher would NEVER bring up religion. Much less make fun of it. Wow! I was shocked. I have learned that there are so many misconceptions about Christ Followers. I've only had one short conversation about it with one teacher. I kept it thoughtful and kind, I hope. But I could tell she disagreed with me. Wow.
I haven't read Fifty Shades of Gray
And I never will. Not into porn. Not even Mommy Porn. When the talk began on the playground (they were all reading it and sharing the books) I would casually walk away and find a child to attend. Isn't that what we're out there for anyway?
Maybe I should balance this post with the good things that happened this week.
1. I have 3 mothers write me sweet notes about the good difference they see in their child since they've been in my room. One little boy would have tremendous fits of anger and frustration that have now all but disappeared. So, thank you in return.
2. I've been able to ride to and from school everyday with my 8th grade daughter. We've had some good conversations in the car.
3. I've learned about myself. I've learned that I have a lot of valuable skills and expertise. I've learned that all those workshops I've suffered through......... and most of the stuff I learned was at the time thought to be useless and impractical.......... but now WOW! Working in a school like this has shown me how important my training is.
4. I worked for a tuition discount for Dancer Girl. She will "graduate" middle school and move to another high school. So I will no longer need the discount.
5. I am ready to leave. There is no second thoughts. I'm sure of it. There is no job that I would want in the whole school.
6. My husband is a hero.
I could go on and on and on. I have 25 more school days, 3 graduation ceremonies, 1 braces removal day to look forward to. Updates to follow I'm sure.