I remember being a teenage girl. And I remember what I wanted from my.......... well, you know......... when I was a teenage girl. Oh how I remember. It's basically the same stuff I STILL want.
And so now I have 2 teenage girls. Daughters with two very, very different personalities.
One is studious, painfully shy and self conscious. The other is a social butterfly, just stepping in to the teenage role, and feeling increasingly "not as smart" as her friends and siblings.
I remember the mean girls. I can remember their names, the way they'd flip their hair over their shoulders. I can remember how they'd act one way here and another way there. I remember watching them and wondering........... why? What makes some girls more "attractive" than others? It's obviously not all about physical beauty. It's about the way you carry yourself when you enter a room. All that rolled up and a tootsie pop, too.
I survived it. Barely.
And now I'm the mother of a painfully shy teenage girl. And let me tell you, the "bullying" is a different style but oh it's still there. If you are seen as the mother of a daughter who is less than............... well, just less............ then you are back to square one. You'd think we as grown women would have learned our lesson. We would have survived the teenage years with perspective of what's important and how all that is so silly. But oh no. We're right back in it. But this time, instead, we are using our own daughters to base our worth. Crazy. Just crazy.
Because I have no relationship to base it on I find myself struggling in the dark. But then I remind myself that I do know how to handle it. And I do know that this teenage stuff will pass. And I do know that the teenage years are NOT the best years of your life. High school - crazy place. (and yes, I was told that over and over and over as a teen)
So I cringe, but I know it doesn't matter.
My daughter does not attend prom. I'm thankful she's not pregnant.
My daughter does not have a large circle of friends. I'm thankful her grades are good.
My daughter does not clean up her room. Ever. I'm thankful that we have a huge house where I can just avoid that area.
I'm thankful that I have her.
I'm thankful that I'm not my mother.
Yes, thankful for that.
Now, my other daughter? Wow. Such a different story.
BTW, I saw a music video by Martina McBride about Teenage Girls and it was so lame and stupid. Hated it. Sorry Martina.