Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Stories From My Closet, Part II

I never made it to the donation site today.  Tomorrow it's on the top of my list, though, because if I don't donate these dresses (and more) they will find their way back into my closet.  And that won't do anybody any good.

I've been thinking about these dresses, though.  I can remember buying each one, wearing each one, and wishing I looked thinner, younger, fresher. Memories were hidden in the back of my closet.  Like secrets, they are only real if you tell somebody.  Pulling these dressed into the light was truth.  And truth will set you free.

Disclaimer:  The photos were not the best in the world.  It's been a long few days.

 I bought this dress at Banana Republic.  It had to be on sale or something because it is horribly uncomfortable.  See how it hangs on the hanger?  That's how it hangs on my body.  It wraps around and it clings and it suffocates until I'm so sweaty and uncomfortable and I have to get it off NOW NOW NOW.   GET IT OFF ME NOW!!

 I bought this dress at Macy's.  It's cool and flowy.   The sleeves are the perfect length - long enough to  cover the bat wings but short enough to show off the bracelets.  The v-neck is body lengthening and I usually wore a wide belt that created a waist.  Have I ever told you I've seen every single episode of WNTW?  Stacy and Clinton - my BFF.
With all the rule following this dress does, I can't wear it.  I wore this dress on a Sunday morning.  It was just a regular Sunday.  Ironman and I had been going to this particular church for several months.  Our daughters left us in the parking lot to their Bible study Class.  As Ironman and I entered the room we were told (yes, TOLD) that the men and women were splitting up.  The women would be way down the hall, turn left, go through the glass door, up the stairs.  Seventh room on the right.  Okay I'm exaggerating.  But that's basically what I hear the woman TELL me.  Blah blah blah.  She lost me at "Split up".  Ironman is my definite safety blanket.
The story continues.  I'm ushered into a room full of women none of whom I've ever seen before.  It's a new church in a new city and although I'm a married mother of three, I suddenly feel like the new 7th grader.  It was awful.  I was embarrassed and out of place.  I attempted to introduce myself to the woman sitting to my right but just as I opened my mouth she suddenly turns to greet her long lost friend whom she probably saw three minutes earlier.
It should come as no surprise that I never returned to that Bible Study class.  And I can never wear this dress because of the feelings it invokes.
Stacy and Clinton - you can have this one.
 This is a dress I bought at Stein Mart.  I had been exercising daily and really putting my nose to the grindstone (or the treadmill) to lose the weight from three pregnancies.  I bought this dress because it fit.  It's actually not as boxy and it looks in this photo.  I remember I was wearing this dress one late afternoon when I pulled into the driveway of one of my neighbors.  As I got out of the car, her husband appears from the garage with a quizzical look on his face and says, "I just have to see what you look like dressed up"  Oh.............. can you say IMPROPER and TACKY?  And let's not forget CHEESY!
It wasn't the first time he said some sexist remark to my face.  
But that's not the only reason I'm donating this dress.  I can't fit into it.

 I bought this dress at Belk's.  I paid $15.  FIFTEEN DOLLARS.  It was on clearance.  I had a coupon that was $10 off any purchase.  $25 dress would have been a steal.  But $15?  For a dress that wasn't horrible?  I'LL TAKE IT.  And it's not a horrible dress.  It's actually slimming.  Has that optical illusion thing going on with the grey waistband.
I'm donating it because I've worn it several times.  I've had it for several years.  It's time.

 Now this dress.  One time I was DRUNK SHOPPING and I bought this dress.
 I wore this dress on a date with Ironman.  Hey, it was 1986 okay??  Big poofy sleeves were stylin'.
We drove to New Orleans.  Went to dinner with some friends.  Laughed and talked all night.  I thought about keeping it just for the sweet memory.  It's the only time I ever wore it.  Poofy sleeves didn't stay fashionable after 1988.  Hmmmmm.  REsist the urge!  Donate the dress.

I end with the ugliest dress in my closet.  First, it's not a nightgown.  It's a true daytime dress.  It just looks and feels like a nightgown.  What.......... I can't defend the purchase.  I may have worn it?   It's more likely that I put it on and tried to make it work, but changed before I left the house.

This was fun.

I'll have to go through the keepers in my closet next time.


  1. Well done! It's a job I've been putting off for years and I have so many clothes that are the wrong size now. You may have inspired me to have a clear out - well maybe tomorrow!

  2. I know what you mean, Sally. Don't you just hate the wide range of sizes in the closet? Frustrating. Why do I hang on to those size 6 jeans? Silly. It does feel good to have a clean closet. Thanks